[ petalspeaks ]

The battle has begun

2009-06-10T07:48:00.005+08:00

In an otherwise quiet part of Subang....

Mummy : Adan, stop it! Mummy dah lipat baju tu, jangan tarik-tarik!

Aidan : Andan nak patai..! (pelat complete with muncung & squinty eyes to show displeasure)

Mummy : No, tu baju abah. Too big for you.

Aidan : *sticks his tongue out* ???!!!!!!????!!!

Mummy : *smacks Aidan's bottom a bit*

Aidan Umar : *crocodile tears to older sister who's sitting down cradling her smelly rabbit like a newborn baby* Yaya, mummy buat!!

Alya : Dah dah dah, takmo nangis.. *conspirational whisper* Nanti kita babab mummy ye..

Aidan : *earnest nodding*

Mummy : *cannot believe what she hears* Kakak, what did you say just now to Adik..?

Alya : Takde apa la mummy *damn sweet smile*

It has begun...

Hunting tiny ketam on the beach..

My lil boy has turned 2..

The Quarterly Blogger

2009-01-08T12:54:00.001+08:00

Perhaps this space should be renamed as such, judging by the intervals of my posts. I do have things to say, funny antics and pictures of the kids to share. Between work, my workplace’s Internet filter *cough Big Brother cough* and the home situation, I have neither the time nor the energy to put down what I want to say and actually upload it..

We’ve had a few maids since before Adan was born and as of Ramadhan, we have decided to send the kids to a nursery. Yes, the nursery fees are the same as what we were paying the maid before but in terms of headaches & ‘sakit ati’ it is definitely a whole lot less.

There are teething problems, of course. The kids cried buckets until their voices were hoarse when I picked them up in the evening. Adan came home with scratches on his face & back. They seem to be okay now, Ala more so than Adan. He still merengek in the morning when we drop them off. Ala is cool as long as we perform her ‘routine’ – which is an elaborate choreography of salams, hugs with pats on the back, kisses (her left cheek, her right cheek, our left cheek, our right cheek) and goodbye waves right up until we are out of her sight. I guess to the other parents it’s a bit much as they are more businesslike – march up to the door, drop off kid & nursery bag, salam & kiss on head then off to work.

Ala is apparently Miss Popularity there, especially with the bigger kids. She makes a point to salam them & the caregivers before leaving. Even a few of the mums know her which is a bit amazing.. Adan is our Pak Lebai. He will search for his small songkok which we bought for Raya, then get one of us to bentang his small sejadah (which sis-in-law bought for them) and then proceed to go through the motions of solat. Complete with mulut kumat-kamit & all..! Ala can pretty much recite some zikirs & doa makan (with pelat) which sounds like this “Allah umma ba-bariktana fima lojaktana akina ajabanna.. Amin” followed by a booming “AMIN!!!!” from the lil Pak Lebai. Better than tv, I tell ya…

I can now have a ‘proper’ conversation with Ala where she communicates in whole sentences. She even sounds like a mak nenek sometimes, once exclaiming “Hai, atok ni..!” when my dad couldn’t quite get what she was trying to say. She stutters quite a bit, though we’re not sure if it’s on purpose. Can’t stand her brother half the time & shows it with physical violence (pinches, shoves etc). The other half, she is Adan’s spokesperson - translating his attempts at speaking & standing up for her lil brother. (“Mummy, jangan la marah Dan-dan tu.. Dan-dan main-main aje la”).

Adan is a cheeky, active lil boy. He’s practically giddy with happiness when Ala deigns to play with him. Unfortunately, he has also learned to fight back which means there’s a lot of hair-pulling and smacking when they play. He loves water so much that he often refuses to come out of the bathroom voluntarily after showers. In fact, he’d find any excuse (or trick!) to bathe again – usually by claiming “Memeh! Yak! Bok! ”. Adan usually wakes up with a smile, immediately checks if his big sister is awake (most of the time no, this anak dara of mine is a late riser) before announcing “Memeh, Yaya bom-bom”. And finally, he’s a completely shameless copycat. Every single thing Ala does or say, he will copy. What makes us howl with laughter is that in the middle of copying her, he will keep an eye out for cues on what to do next…!

As much as we laugh, it makes me feel slightly melancholic afterwards.. Our babies are growing up.

After 3 months..

2008-09-08T12:46:00.003+08:00

.. I still don't have enough time to sit down & write an actual post. Would some bulleted updates suffice? Gosh, I hope so..

Our home is now a warzone. Ever since Ala has discovered her 'taring', she's been constantly biting & pinching Adan. As much as we try to stop it, gruesome marks have appeared on Adan's body. She seems to feel extremely geram with her lil brother resulting in the intense attacks. It doesn't help matters that Adan doesn't understand enough to keep away from her. He constantly follows her around, trying to hug her, kiss her or grab the toy she's playing with.

Ala can be a lazy bum sometimes, refusing to fetch her Rabbit or bottle even though it's 2 steps away. She'll still insist "Mummy amikkan!". So sometimes when I'm heatedly arguing with her to get her to fetch her stuff, Adan will quietly fetch whatever it is, hand it to Ala with a "Nyah!", make his cheeky face & singsong "Teng!" ('thank you' even tho he was the one who should be thanked) before going off on his merry way. It was like a glimpse into the future, I pray she won't learn to make use of her brother.

Adan is now almost 1 year & 4 months old. His weight (according to the clinic scale, dunno true or what) is now 11kg. He doesn't look huge though. He does have kinda broad shoulders and a tough looking body. Mum calls him 'budak godang'. But this budak godang likes to sleep with his arms around his 'memeh'. (Yep, BabyBoon. Our boys call us by the same name).

Adan plays rough/manja. What does that mean? He loves to manja2 (like sleep on the same pillow as me) but his actions are always abrupt & rough. I now have a small bump on the bridge of my nose from the time his head slammed into my face as he was rooting around in his sleep 'nak carik spot tido'. I was bawling from the pain (I swear I heard a crack) but the lil dude carried on sleeping in his usual froggy-style. Totally oblivious.

Some pics from Auntie Sara's wedding a whole month ago. Yes, it's taking me that long to download the pics from K's camera..

Arriving at Tok Ngah's house

Hijacking of the pelamin by their parents in order to take cutesy pics of their kids

70's inspired hair (ahem, actually couldn't get her to sit still to tie it up)

See my finger?

How to pass the time at weddings..

Year In Review - Aidan

2008-06-04T13:22:00.003+08:00

(Warning!! Picture heavy post)

Aidan's birthday has come and gone. Rather than re-hash the same entry as Alya's birthday (we had the same menu & people over.. how original right?), I thought I'd put up a pic of every month so far in my little man's life as other mommies have done.

1st month - baby sumo

2nd month - the orange ball

3rd month - already showing his distaste for the carrier

4th month - rolled over

5th month - asah gigi on the walker

6th month - rolling around with mummy

7th month - first appearance of the cheeky face

8th month - my little man

9th month - climbing up the kitchen gate

10th month - targeting atok's lamp

11th month - one of our dinner outings

and finally.... 1 year old!! He had some help blowing out the candles..

So what does he do now that he's turned 1?

Grab his sister from behind and drags her around the room or to the floor - Adan's smackdown move!

Red Faces

2008-04-28T07:49:00.002+08:00

When one of your kids has picked up the gift of gab, understands most of what you’re saying and observes everything, certain situations are bound to happen. Situations where they are blissfully unaware about the cause of our discomfort.
· Alya’s script when asked “Abah pegi mana?” (pelat & all) – “Abah peji Duuubai. Naik aewoplane. Carik duwit. Beli susu Ala, susu Dan-dan. Tinggal Ala, tinggal mummy, tinggal Dan-dan.”

· We had lunch at a restaurant where she spent the whole time wiping everything down like an obsessed germophobe (tabletop, chair back, the top of the chair, my jeans). As we were leaving and strapping her into the stroller, she complained “Akit!”. Asked about the location of her pain, my daughter replied “Akit pepet!”. Waitresses within earshot started giggling furiously, K was stifling his own laughter while I told her not to cakap kuat-kuat. God only knows where she learned that word as me & K have always used another term for it with her..

· Upon meeting her uncle’s future wife (BIL is marrying an English girl), Alya freaked out, started to cry and pointed right in her future Mak Ngah’s face saying “Nanak!! Ala nanak dia tu!”. Maybe cos BIL’s fiancee looks different with her brown hair and green eyes..

· While sending K off at the airport for his 2nd month in Dubai, I had to change Alya’s diaper. We were heading to the nappy changing room when she started to run ahead of me. She turned around and, in the middle of the departure hall, shouted towards me “Mummy! Cepat mummy! Ala yayak!”

Mortification is my constant companion…

Single Parent (for 2 months)

2008-03-05T12:45:00.003+08:00

K has been in the Middle East for the past week and will be there until end of April, tasked to turn around a project. In the meantime, I am handling the 2 lil chickies, going to work and looking after K's side-business. So far okay, as us 3 beranak have moved into my parents' place. Lotsa help & support around. Hopefully it'll continue to be smooth sailing for the coming weeks. Have no time to properly blog as Adan has become quite a destructive force, including sengaja carik gaduh with Alya. I shall leave you with pics of their usual evening activity and their new ride from a baby warehouse sale. Alya was terrified of the tricycle & only her atok managed to pujuk her to give it a try. After that, it was "Mummy tolak! Mummy tolak! Mummy tolak".. Menyesal pun ada gak hahahaha..

Adan's must-do : Climb up the sofa & bergayut at the window..

Alya's must-do : Give atok's 'tish' mamam (tish = fish)

Adan cool & unfazed "I'm just going along for the ride"

She was terrified at first.. but soon would not get off it!

Second

2008-02-26T05:38:00.003+08:00

We had Alya’s birthday on the 17th. Watching her sleep now, it’s amazing how far away she seems from the tiny bundle swimming in the pink SJMC swaddling cloth. I mean, 2 years ago she was a 2.14kg baby girl who managed to avoid the incubator after arriving about a month early. She was only as long as K’s forearm, a hairy lil thing whose limbs were frequently trembling.

The same little girl can now converse pretty well (but with pelat of course), runs around while giggling and saying “Lajuuuu!!” and demands your complete attention. She’s freaked out by injuries (scrapes, blisters, blood) and suka kacau daun when her parents cuddle in front of the TV (“Abah tak leh pegang Mummy, cem cem, ak alu*”. Translation : Shame shame, tak malu) I had a huge laugh over it while K looked a bit incredulous.

I spent Friday night clearing the living & dining area of the numerous piles of stuff that seems to have popped up, chucking everything I can fit into the back room. Then Saturday was spent cleaning up the inside & shopping for the lasagna ingredients. The kids woke us up at 6am Sunday morning. Getting up was no easy task. K cleaned up his car stuff outside while I managed the kids and other lil bits of cleaning. Not an easy task as the kids were practically climbing up the grille to go outside. At one point, Alya (in diapers, don’t ask) was wailing to go outside and her brother (still in his sleepsuit) decided to ‘harmonize’. K & me were tiredly looking at them then at each other, before he commented “Inilah nasib kita”. That got us laughing loud enough to stun the wailing duo. Indeed it was.

I bathed them, stuck in a bottle each and watched them slowly fall asleep. Put my head down next to Dan-dan. Next thing I knew, K woke me up saying my in-laws were here. Sure enough, they were standing in front of the grille smiling away. We had been caught sleeping on the job. It seems they had given salam at the gate and seeing it was unlocked, let themselves in. Only to find us 4 beranak pretty much passed out in front of the TV as nobody stirred when they gave salam 3 times..!

K’s mum had come early to make nasi lemak. Both grandmothers were worried there wouldn’t be enough food for 30 hungry guests at lunchtime. So the original menu of beef & chicken lasagna, KFC and cake expanded to include nasi lemak, fried rice, bihun Singapura, kuih apam and fruits. K had ordered a number 2 cake since we couldn’t get it for Alya last year. A spread that saw about ¾ of the food polished off. Alhamdulillah, grandmas to the rescue.

The birthday girl was excited seeing her Abah bring in the big cake box that she tailed him giggling and saying “Ala nak nengok”. I took off the lid to let her have a quick look at her aquarium-themed cake. Mistake. She wouldn’t let anyone cover it up and kept insisting “Ala nak jilat..!” When everyone was singing the birthday song, she got all bashful and even tried to hide her face. She wouldn’t let me cut the cake, yelling “Nanak, nanak” everytime the knife touched the cake. K had to take her aside before I could cut it up and serve it to the horde..

The birthday girl insisting on sampling the goods

She got a lovely pair of sandals which she promptly wanted to wear – declaring them to be ‘atik!!’, a toy xylophone from my sister which was hijacked and fully ‘serviced’ by Dan-dan (thanks a lot, bingit umah aku), some stuffed animals, cookies which I have stashed away for safekeeping (read: Mummy’s snacking session) and many many angpows to help fatten up her savings.

I don’t think I can do this again in May for Dan-dan’s 1st. Both grandmas suggested a party at McD.. How?

Why am I in a Hawaiian shirt and holding this noisy thing? I feel like a posterboy for a luau band

The huge mosquito bite was from 2 days before the party..

The birthday girl.. 1 year on

One upper, one lower

2008-02-04T12:46:00.000+08:00

There was some pertumpahan darah over the long weekend. It started off with Aidan slipping while crawling around, cutting his lip and upper gum on his two lower teeth. The 2 tiny teeth had come in early January and the big-ass upper teeth is slowly making an appearance (gigi kapak!!) Anyway, there was a lot of blood in his mouth.. Scared the hell out of me.. His upper lip swelled up almost immediately, K told me to ice it down.. I grabbed an ice cube, wrapped it in a face towel & started applying it to his lip.. The lil dude had other ideas as he had started to test-lick it.. I unwrapped the ice cube & let Dan-Dan suck on it, which calmed him & the swelling a lot faster..

Then we went back to Seremban to visit my in-laws. They have been doing some extensive renovation work since Dec last year, just a few details left to be done. While we were hanging out in the kitchen, I noticed Alya doing something funny. She was squatting and using the handle of a hairbrush to tap on the tiled floor. When I asked “Kakak, awak buat apa tu?” she nonchalantly replied “Ala wat keje!”. It took me a few seconds before I realized that the lil minx was doing what the workers did when they were laying down the tiles in the living room!! Man, we definitely need to watch what we say or do around her… Unfortunately, she has picked up a few bad words – bodoh, boobies… There were 2 occasions where she has used those words, much to our surprise & extreme horror..

Alya spends most weekends in Seremban, so as per usual we left her with K’s family while we went home Saturday night. On Sunday, she apparently fell & cut her lower lip. She had refused to take a nap and was playing with her Atok in a sleepy state when it happened. At least she knows it’s her fault. She gave me a blow-by-blow account last night, saying “Ala main ngan Atok! Ala atuh! Akit!” When I asked “Sapa buat?” she said “Ala buat…” I wouldn't be surprised if she smacked the floor hehehe..

Dan-Dan adores his older sister.. His goal in life is to get her to play with him and whenever she does, he will squeal & giggle happily.. He’ll follow his sister around and hijack whatever she’s doing.. Alya will play with something, he’ll drop whatever he’s doing, scoot on over and hijack it in the blink of an eye.. A toy piano, her stuffed toys and even a half-eaten biscuit.. Alya just stood there whining about “Dan-Dan amik, Dan-Dan amik” while the lil dude sits next to her munching away.. He’s super-quick & strong so I don’t think Alya stands much of a chance.. He really does lanyak his sister, no qualms about steamrolling her to get to something..

Hai, cuts on one upper lip & one lower lip.. I worry about whatever’s next?

Piccie post

2008-01-29T13:05:00.000+08:00

To the batcave...!

My cheeky lil boy

Last one in rides at the back!

Alya : Ha, I win.. even if this thing is too low for me..

Dan-dan : Hey, it's pretty fun back here..

This is what happens when I ask Alya if she loves her brother..

Alyaspeak

2008-01-16T12:46:00.000+08:00

Alya pretty much talks our ear off now. But, most times it’s in a whole other language that we’ve slowly picked up. She gets pretty frustrated when she says something and we stare back not comprehending what she’s talking about. She’s also started to introduce the whole family to strangers like salesgirls, cashiers & waiters who tegur her. On a recent trip to Mothercare, the saleslady said hello to her. Alya responded by pointing out every one of us and introducing our names. Point to K, “Abah”. Point to me, “Mummy”. Point to Aidan in K’s arms, “Dan-dan”. Held up her now-anorexic yellow bunny, “Nini”. Patted her pigeon chest, “Lya”. The lady was trying her damn hardest not to laugh out loud.

Lya / Ala - Alya (she refers to herself in the 3rd person)
Nini - Benny the now-anorexic yellow bunny
Akit - sakit
Acuk alam - masuk dalam (as in “Nanak! Nanak acuk alam!”)
Ak alu - 1. tak malu (as in “Ha, ha. Mummy ak alu. Ha, ha. Mummy ak alu”)
2. nak lalu (“Mummy, Lya nak alu” when my flabulous arse is in the way)
Atik - cantik
Cem & colet - Ice cream & chocolates. Her favourite treats, which she gets loads of at her Grandma & Atok’s place. L
Cucu - Susu. Usually demanded by telenovela style wailing complete with face buried in both hands. Hmph, drama queen.
Bena - Ribena
Kong kong - dukung (“Atok, nak kong kong” If she doesn’t get picked up immediately, it starts to sound louder and more whiny)
Popok - keropok
Bowwy - sorry ("Bowwy mummy")

How early does a child’s personality develop? We’ve noticed a few things about Alya that’s amazing but at the same time a bit worrying. She absolutely refuses to apologize or say ‘Sorry’. You can scold her until she cries but she will still not say it. It’s fascinating, really. When she’s being naughty and I tell her to apologize, I can actually see her expression change into a mixture of blankness and “Hell no!”. Her mouth will start jutting out (muncung la kira) and she actually crossed her arms a few times. I guess she’s the sort who refuses to be forced to do something she doesn’t want to. The more you push her, the more she refuses to comply. Keras hati as my mum says.

Oh, and she gets completely unhinged when things aren’t in order. Like the time she pestered me about a hole in the footies of her sleepsuit. Couldn’t stop merengek and pointing at it until I put another sleepsuit on her. Same thing happened when there was a hole in Dan-Dan’s sleepsuit. (Yes, I believe in getting my money’s worth hehehe. Which is why they will wear it until they are bursting out of it. Those Mothercare sleepsuits aren’t cheap you know..)

Or that time she got some ink from K’s pen on her finger. She immediately held her finger away from herself (geli, I guess) and showed it to me “Mummy, tor.. tor.” Since we were in the car and I had my hands full handling Dan-Dan, I told her that we can wash her hand when we reach home. But she kept on whining “Mummy, nak acuh ngan.. Tor, nak acuh ngan..” until finally she simply cried her heart out with that finger still an arm’s length away from her.. I found this all very amusing, K was puzzling why his baby girl was bawling and the wifey was giggling away.. I know it seems heartless but you find humour in the weirdest places sometimes..

Mishap(s)

2007-12-14T17:37:00.000+08:00

I got a call from my mum at lunchtime. She casually asked what I was doing. Said I was having my lunch at my desk. She started off with “Tadi Dan tarik meja…” and I thought ‘Oh boy, ni mesti dia tarik tablecloth and barang berterabur’. (Don’t ask how he manages to reach the tablecloth, I wonder too) Then my mum started sobbing and my blood ran cold. I tried to keep calm and figure out what she was trying to say in between sobs.

Remember this picture? The table leg he’s got a hold on is attached to a half-circle glass top facing the stairs at my parents’ house.

Aidan had pulled the table down. Right towards him.

My mum had put him in the walker and he was happily moving around trying to follow his sister. Alya wanted to watch tv so my mum turned her back to turn it on and find Animal Planet. The next thing she knew, she heard an almighty crash and turned around to find Dan-Dan’s head stuck in the table leg-frame and surrounded by a sea of glass shards.

While sitting in the walker, he had apparently tugged on the table leg and it fell towards him. The glass top missed his head and broke against the stairs but he somehow got stuck in the table’s framework. Thank Allah.

He started bawling. Alya started bawling. I think my mum cried out of shock & relief. She had to call my aunt & uncle to help clean the mess up as she didn’t dare to leave the kids.

Dan-Dan emerged with just a few scratches and cheeky as ever.

That was not the end though. Later that night, he was crawling & trying to reach the phone that was placed on our tv bench. He started to melonjak-lonjak and before I could put a top to it, ended up bumping his head. Resulted in a neat lil blue benjol over his right eyebrow to accompany the scratch over his left eyebrow from the earlier misadventure. Man, you really cannot take your eyes off this dude for a second.

I don’t wanna be the over-protective mother who’s constantly hovering, all afraid of something, anything happening to her kid. That’s no way to live and that’s no way for my kids to live either. I guess I have to find the right mix of protectiveness and letting them do their own thing and learning from it.

Tears

2007-12-12T10:40:00.000+08:00

My kids cry a lot. They scream quite a fair bit too and man, can they project those voices. So much so that our front door and windows remain closed most of the time. Yes, yes, kids need fresh air and all but I think avoiding my neighbours calling the cops for suspected child abuse is paramount.

I don’t think my kids are unhappy or not thriving. We have a good time hanging out, with Alya babbling away and Aidan trying to climb everything he can (sister included). He’s extremely interested in eating, you can’t wave around a piece of food near him without him grabbing your hand, chomping down and gumming it furiously. Alya, as usual, seems to survive mainly on formula milk and air. This is occasionally punctutated by rice (a total of 5 spoonfuls at best), bread and whatever else we’re having. Since she spends quite a lot of time with my in-laws, I noticed that they indulge her with ice cream (‘cem’). Which creates a problem when she comes home and starts asking for it.

I think my kids are hitting their crying phase at exactly the same time. I mean, they used to be a lot more quiet. Alya’s at that stage where the word ‘No’ and ‘Kejap’ means nothing and everything seems to end in tears. Play play play, melalak. Whine whine whine, melalak. Demand demand demand, melalak. Typical toddler behaviour? She’s even started experimenting with tantrums by throwing things and thrashing about on the floor. The funny thing is, she will carefully lower herself on the floor first before thrashing about. Auta je lebih…

I usually just look at her blankly or quietly ask her to kemas, which will infuriate her more. K is not as patient as he’ll usually scold or give her a smack on the bottom. Once I feel she’s stopped crying cos of anger or frustration and just for the sake of it, I’ll start pacifying her and point out what she did wrong. Doesn’t always work but I figure I should teach her what’s wrong and reinforce that slowly.

Aidan seems to be very attached to me. He plays happily when I’m around but as soon as I’m out of sight, starts to whine before graduating to full-blown screaming. Even if K is there cajoling him to play, he would still cry and crawl around looking for me. I can’t really do my chores properly unless he’s napping (so the house is constantly a disaster area) and he hates the playpen/cot and the carrier, so those options are off the list. I tried driving alone with him once from the in-laws’ place while K drove his car with Alya. What is usually a 45-min journey took me half an hour more, with 2 stops on the emergency lane. No toy or song in the whole world calmed him down unless he was taken out of the carrier. He basically cried and squirmed around until he threw up. So now, he usually sits on my lap in the backseat where he’ll stand and jump up & down. I know it’s totally dangerous but he absolutely hates to be confined or tied down. I wonder if we should try him on Alya’s car seat.. How ah?

Frazzled is an understatement..

I cannot...

2007-12-04T13:37:00.000+08:00

… get a full night’s sleep without having to wake up in the middle of the night to prepare milk or do some forgotten household chore. My kids will usually tag-team me, it’s like they planned it out. One will wake up first and just as I am crawling back into bed, another ‘siren’ will start. My neighbours probably think I’m some madwoman for hanging up my clothes or mopping the house at 2am.

… leave the room without Aidan howling and Alya following me. I have to be super quick using the bathroom to minimize the cacophony of Aidan crying & Alya whining “Mummy! Mummy! Mummy!” while banging on the door. They stop as soon as I open the door, grinning away.. Aiyo, tak senang betul..

Little & Large

… read without Aidan trying to grab the magazine or newspaper (no time for books!). He’s utterly fascinated watching people flip the pages and gets so geram if he gets his hands on it that he’ll start ripping it up.

… resist buying girly clothes for Alya. My practical side tells me to buy stuff that can be passed down to Dan-dan (as my mother puts it, mummy kedekut) but really, how can you say no to pink dresses?

… take my eyes off Dan-dan. Since he has learned how to crawl and pull himself up (yep, at 6 months old!!), I have to constantly pull him away from stuff and guard behind him when he stands holding on to the sofa edges.

… open any packet or plastic bag without Alya declaring “Nak nak nak!” and Dan-dan craning his neck to get a better look.

… let Dan-dan loose if his sister is napping. He’d pounce right on that mass of hair like a playful kitty and start tugging. His current favourite activity is to climb all over his sister in an attempt to grab her hair, causing the poor kerempeng girl to topple over and cry, while he sits on her giggling away all happy playing with his sister, blissfully unaware that he’s a lot more solidly built and weighs only 1.5kg less.

Can't a guy climb the sofa in peace around here?

Look mummy, I found a new way to play the piano!

Before Parenthood – My Version

2007-11-05T11:37:00.000+08:00

I couldn’t imagine how my body will go through childbirth and if it’ll go back to normal afterwards.. It didn’t.

I used to worry about the added expense – formula, diapers etc.. (RM45 for one can?!) Now it’s 2 cans of formula weekly and we don’t even bat an eyelid anymore.

I used to sleep at 9pm so that I can function the next day… I’ve discovered that even after going to bed at 11pm, waking up twice in the night and the alarm going off at 5am I can still function (somewhat).

I used to just brush my hair, grab my handbag and roll out the door.. Now I grab the diaper bag, car seat, carrier seat and 2 babies, forgetting my handbag before being able to roll out the door.

Going out didn’t require an hour of prep to pack the diaper bag, change 2 babies, make the milk, strap them into their seats and rounding up the necessary toys.

I had no idea how to handle babies or entertain them.. All I needed was a clean surface for them to golek-golek, a few toys, repertoire of songs and a sense of humour (especially useful when your daughter bonks you on the head for the umpteenth time)

I didn’t know my kids’ giggles and smiles would be the best thing in the world.

I used to have doubts about how competent a mother I’d be, if I could make all the sacrifices.. Turns out they’re not sacrifices after all.

Motherlode

2007-10-24T13:12:00.000+08:00

I apologize for being a lax mommy blogger. Our 2 bundles of joy are turning out to be quite a huge armful (rather than a handful).

We had maid trouble 2 weeks into Ramadhan. The new maid quit after working exactly 1 month. She had been telling everybody (besides us, her employers) that she wants to quit, that she cannot tahan taking care of 2 babies and housework to boot, that Dan-Dan is ‘heavy’ and always wants to be carried etc etc…

I confronted her and she ended up not being able to say anything. When we interviewed her before employing her, bukan main lagi cerita. Worked for Chinese household with 2 kids, used to waking up at 4am to wash the cars, big bungalow so our small place shouldn’t be a problem. I don’t know what is wrong with these people. You treat them considerately and they react by saying (behind your back) that they prefer working for the kind of employers they ran away from in the 1st place.

So I had to take leave to find alternate childcare arrangements, namely babysitters and nurseries. Called up a few places and made arrangements to drop by and view their place. I’m glad I did because there is no way I would send my kids to these ‘nurseries’! The places were rundown, not maintained properly and I daresay one can even be called ‘dirty’. I don’t know if these places were unlicensed or there’s a lack of monitoring and enforcement. I mean, I saw kids napping on bare mattresses that had gone gray, stairs with half the parquet tiles gone and 2 caregivers handling 7 babies and 8 toddlers. Is that really the scenario currently or have I just stumbled upon the bad apples?

And the fees they charged! One nursery asked for RM500 for Dan-Dan and RM450 for Alya, due to the fact that they have “Infant/Toddler Programmes” in place. I am all for educating my kids but not when it costs more than our rent. Priorities, people! RM300 per child seemed to be the general going rate at my area. For that kinda money, I could hire a new maid and have cash left over for a week’s worth of groceries.

So I guess it’s back to hiring maids. Our parents have been roped in to take care of the kiddies in the meantime. We sent Alya to my in-laws in Seremban for a few days before Raya with a very heavy heart while Dan-Dan is with my mother. Either side cannot handle them together, especially now since they have developed perangais. My in-laws have offered for Alya to stay with them permanently, go to playschool in Seremban etc.. but there is no way we can be those parents who send their kids to kampung and only see them on weekends.

Raya was spent in Kelantan with K’s side of the family, and we only got back early Tuesday morning. Travelling such a long distance with 2 kiddies is best done at night when they are asleep and would not be screaming to be taken out from their respective seats. Dan-Dan was in 7th heaven as the relatives berebut to carry and cuddle him. Alya loved the trains passing by the house and all the kampung animals, especially when K’s grandma hired a guy using a beruk to pick coconuts in the front yard. Alya watched it do work intently from the verandah and yelled “Nak nak nak!!” while pointing to it. We had to tell her “Beruk tu not for sale la..”

She’s now 1 year and 8 months old and perfectly able to understand us. She can talk but usually only voices out the end syllables (e.g. ‘cantik’ becomes ‘..tik’). Loves to melaram and was the most glam-looking member of our family during Raya with her dress, shoes, Powerpuff watch, bracelets (yes, plural!) and hairclips. Mummy and Abah are usually very selekeh as we were too knackered and didn’t have enough time to bersiap after wrestling with and getting the 2 of them ready. As girly as she looks, I think she loves cars like her Abah. K used to take her along to workshops and car shops and she’d get super-excited hearing a car with those loud modified engines. At K’s uncle’s house, she merengek saying “Nak vroom-vroom..” We assumed she wanted to go for a drive, but noticed that she was pointing at K’s cousins who were playing with Hot Wheels cars. I borrowed one off them and she happily played with the toy car, sprawled on the floor in her pink dress and socks.

Can you spy the bracelets on both wrists?

My lil boy is growing nicely, 5 months now and weighs 7.5kg. I don’t think he looks fat, just seems to be big-sized. Hell, he’s almost caught up to Alya who remains stick-thin and tiny. His sister has started calling him “Dan-Dan Mar”, parroting me when I called him by his full name once. My bro-in-law however, has re-named him as Pekan cos of his current hairstyle. Cukur bantal on both sides of his head and a big tuft of hair is left on top. He absolutely loves to be cuddled and digomol-gomol. His current fav trick is rolling over and over whenever we put him down and he’s started to inch his way forward, sort of like a really fat & juicy caterpillar. He’s got a huge voice, which he will use to full effect when he wants something (wailing to be carried or for more milk and squealing when he’s playing).

Dan-Dan leaves puddles of drool everywhere he goes!

These are the only pictures I have handy. God knows when I'll find time to upload others..!

The Kelakar-ness of Alya (or How My Daughter Makes Me Laugh)

2007-08-16T12:34:00.000+08:00

She excitedly jumps around when we undress her for a bath, but as soon as she’s in the bathroom she will insist “Dah! Dah! Dah!” even though not a drop of water has touched her.

The words “Kakak, jom jalan-jalan” reduces my daughter into a bouncy, giggly energy ball.

She gets impatient if we’re too slow getting ready or loading up the car before going jalan-jalan.

She greets my dad at the door by pointing to her shoes, then pointing to the garden and saying “Tok! Kong!”

When I see Alya and Dan-Dan side-by-side, I think Little & Large. (No points for guessing who’s Little and who’s Large)

Her best friend is Benny the Yellow Bunny. She smooches him every so often with a “Mwah mwah” and drags him everywhere by the ear, so much so that Benny has gone anorexic and kepam. (Chase & Helic, I need a backup bunny!!)

If you ask her for the time, she’ll show you her wristwatch if she’s wearing it. If not, she’ll point to her wrist, shake her head and say “Lang…”

She knows the word ‘Kemas’ means to tidy up – usually by throwing her toys in the basket or pushing the feeding chair back into the corner.

She plays the concerned sister occasionally and checks up on her lil brother by peering into the cot and calling his name.

If you bagi salam, she replies with a “..Lam!”. Usually without even looking up from whatever it is she’s doing.

She’ll call out “Abang” and grin at anybody passing by, much to K’s annoyance.

If she’s eating, she’ll go “Mmmmmm, dap!” while rubbing her tummy.

I greatly fear we are raising a little drama queen..

*What about Aidan’s list, you ask? Well, seeing he’s only about 2.5 months and doesn’t really do much, it’d be a very short list. Maybe by this time next year..

2 under 2

2007-07-24T20:23:00.000+08:00

A regular reader of my little space here asked if having 2 kids under 2 is a recipe for trouble.. I don’t have a ready answer, to be honest..

In our case, it was totally unplanned. By some miracle and rezeki, Aidan beat the high odds. Alya was 15 months when her brother came along and she alternated between resentment, fascination, love and indifference. I don’t blame her, suddenly there was this noisy little thing who had moving parts, was constantly being carried by mummy and fussed over by everyone else. What made it harder for her was the fact that I couldn’t carry her during my pantang and K spent a week in the hospital due to dengue. I’m sure she felt like we were pushing her away in favour of Aidan, as evidenced by the crying and stomping. It broke my heart when she held her arms out to me, teary-eyed and saying “Mama..”, asking to be carried around. She didn’t want anything else and cuddles or kisses just seemed to anger her more.

As soon as her brother was born, Alya got up the courage to start walking. She was still holding on to things and people’s hands before that. She learned to say her brother’s name, singing “Dan, Dan, Dan” while perfecting her new walking skills. She’ll smooch Aidan one second and smack him the next, which doesn’t seem to faze him. She does not like sharing and often grabs any toy we place next to Aidan.

2 months on, things have settled down somewhat. What we’ve learned so far is to not make it all about the new baby. Remember that the kakak is still a baby and sometimes just wants to be treated as such. It’s not a bad thing if they want to try the baby’s pacifier or cot sometimes. Alya usually forgets about it when we offer her another distraction e.g. a book or a stuffed toy. We make sure that if one of us is busy with Aidan, the other one spends time with kakak. Or, if I’m taking care of them alone I usually spread a thick comforter on the carpet, plop them down and play with both of them at the same time.

I’m not saying it’ll be smooth sailing. There were times when I’ve broken down because Aidan is crying for his milk and Alya is screaming for attention at the same time. Like how she managed to get halfway up the staircase by herself because I assumed she was in the living room, based on the tinkling of her anklet. The fatigue and aching back because I was still up at 2am trying to stop Aidan’s crying and Alya can’t sleep because of it. It’s very taxing for your energy and financial levels, but we kinda forget about it when we’re all flopped on the carpet with kakak babbling away and adik trying to keep up with his gurgles. That’s when we feel like a family.

Back to the grind

2007-07-19T15:46:00.000+08:00

Work starts again next Monday. My pre-pregnancy clothes are snug and I haven't had time to shop for new ones. I barely even had time to get a haircut last week.. I just plopped into the chair, told the guy with the red streaks in his hair to cut it and make it simple. We still don't have a replacement maid so my mum has to take care of the kiddies while we're at work in the meantime. She's not happy about it but we don't really have a choice since she herself tak sampai hati if the kids are sent to a nursery.

I guess I can add another title to my name - daughter, wife, mother, referee.. (see pic below)

It was supposed to be a nice picture of the 2 kiddies side-by-side.. But at the exact moment I snapped it, Alya attempted to rest her leg on top of her brother (horror of horrors!).. Dan just simply blinked and gurgled away.. He's getting very friendly, striking up conversations full of gurgles with anyone who happens to be near him..

Since K got a new job in the city, we moved.. again.. This is our 3rd move in 2 years of marriage, the first was into our own place after getting married.. After Alya was born, we moved to N.9 as K was helping out with the family business.. I was still working in KL, which translated to extremely high commuting time and costs.. And with Aidan here, we're back to living in the Valley..

The running joke is that we celebrate milestones in our lives by moving house.. It is no laughing matter.. On the very last day of my pantang, we rolled up our sleeves and packed up all our stuff in 24 hours, which filled up 2 5-ton lorries.. It was insanely ridiculous and not something I want to repeat anytime soon.. The next time we move will be into our own house.. Thank God the company Dad works for has a transportation subsidiary and we got a discount rate for the lorries (they threw in the 2nd lorry free!).. At the moment, we're still staying with my parents as we haven't had time to sort and clean the new place, with K working long hours and me wrestling with 2 babies..

I want to clean the house. But I also want to go get some new clothes so that I can stop wearing ratty old t-shirts.. Feel so blergh most of the time, I just want to feel good for once and be a little bit like those "have-it-all mothers".. You know the sort, impeccably turned out with slender bodies etc.. I'm not aiming for perfection here, presentable would be good enough.. With 2 kids under age 2, I don't have time for anything higher.. :)

1 month on

2007-06-29T06:40:00.000+08:00

I'm tired. My eyes feel sore and itchy. I'm not losing as much weight as I'd like (damn my insatiable appetite!). I look like I'm about 4 months' pregnant but I'm not carrying a baby, just a jiggly belly . I start work in 3 weeks and am terrified of trying on my clothes.

*end rant*

Dan gained 1.2kg after the first month. He looks tegap and his hair is growing out all spiky. My sister likes to fashion a 'faux mohawk' on him after his baths while his hair's all wet. I'm thankful I've got a lot of help (mum & sis while she's on semester break which is ending this week.. boo hoo, takde 'bibik' lagi..) to deal with both kids and my in-laws usually 'borrows' Alya for the weekend. Dan has started smiling and cooing occasionally. He loves to be cuddled and manja-ed, more than Alya used to. In fact, he demands it. Mum dah bising "Jangan biasakan budak tu.." etc etc but then I see her do it anyway.. The kiddies are on the same schedule, which is very hectic.. If one needs a diaper change, the other one will probably need one too.. Most of the time I find myself feeding both at the same time, a bottle in each hand..

Alya loves her baby brother, smooching and calling his name all the live long day. She walks around the house, clutching Benny (the yellow bunny) and saying "Dan Dan... Dan Dan Dan" in a singsong voice. She'll check on him occasionally by peering into his basket and calling his name. Although it didn't stop her from lobbing a cushion into the basket or experimentally pinching him. The doc at my panel clinic keeps telling me she's horribly underweight, clocking in at under 9kg. But she's active and happy and possibly just destined to be small, as unbelievable as it seems if you look at her parents.. Hehehe

The little lady with an up-do

With Benny the yellow bunny

One after the other

2007-06-11T11:22:00.000+08:00

So.. it's now day 18..

Aidan is a relentless milk-drinking machine who's got day and night all mixed up. I have to try every known trick to wake him up for feedings and to get him to sleep at night. Needless to say, none of them work. I am only able to grab an hour or so of sleep at night and am usually crashed out on the sofa, dead to the world by 10am. My warden (aka my mum) is not too pleased that I tido siang ("Camne nak kuruskan badan?!") but really, does she expect me to function on just 2 hours of sleep every night? I have to be at the top of my game to dodge the streams of pee and complete nappy changes in the shortest time possible. Current hit count : 4.

Alya finally has started walking, after Aidan arrived. She's still a bit unsteady and it's hilarious watching her walk with one arm out for balance while the other is clutching her yellow bunny. She's been quite moody generally and sometimes mad at me as I'm unable to dukung her. She'll throw a tantrum complete with leg-stomping and arched back. I think it's more jealousy than anything as she wants everything that belongs to Aidan. She'll squeal with delight when she sees her lil brother, kisses him then turns around and climbs into his empty baby basket.

K contracted dengue fever about 4 days after I was discharged from the hospital. We theorize he picked it up at his workplace. He'd just started his new job and had already taken 2 days' unpaid leave for Aidan's delivery. He spent 6 days in the hospital and we even ended up celebrating our 2nd anniversary there, him hooked up to the umpteenth bag of IV and me wearing my bengkung underneath my pants. All I can say is thank God for employee medical benefits..

To top it off, our maid has done a runner yesterday. We gave her a day off on Saturday to go to her cousin's and told her to be at the meeting place at 4pm Sunday. By 6pm, batang idung pun tak nampak. Calls went unanswered and her cousin swears she was at home earlier. I smelled a conspiracy.. The maid had told me a few days before that her mother wants her to come home and work but as she puts it, "Saya tak mau balik, kakak.." It wasn't the first time I heard this, she had trotted out this line twice before. Everytime I asked her directly, what do you want to do? And everytime she says she wants to work here. All freaking lies!

We're all staying at my parents' house during my pantang and my brother is sleeping in the living room so that she can have a room and some privacy. K suspected she might pull something so I had checked the room after we sent her on Saturday. Her stuff was there so I left it at that. I took a closer look this morning and turned out she had taken all her personal items but left a stack of clothes behind. Possibly in an attempt to fool us, which it did.

I am so damn pissed. After treating her considerately and giving her so many chances (she's not exactly competent or hardworking, but always cries and promises to do better when we tegur her), she didn't even have the decency to just tell us "I don't want to work anymore". It's not like we were gonna stop her or beg her to stay and I had told her as much before this. We only asked her to decide and let us know so that we can make alternative arrangements if needed.. Memang ****** betul..

So now I somehow have to manage an active, moody toddler who recently discovered walking skills and a newborn. Maybe Aidan sleeping all day is not so bad after all..

It's a boy!

2007-06-04T18:30:00.001+08:00

Well, the lil one finally had to be forced out.

After waiting for the due date to arrive (nothing), then waiting a week after that (still nothing), baby Aidan very reluctantly left the confines of his comfy home and into our arms on 24th May 2007.

Doc S had already told us to report to the Labour Ward bright & early on that day if he still hadn't made an appearance yet. So we woke up early, had a light breakfast, chucked our bags in our messy car and headed to the hospital. After getting settled in the delivery room, Doc S examined me and declared I was at 3cm. I sputtered a bit about how I could have only dilated 1 whole centimeter in the last few weeks. She started the IV with the drug to induce labour and broke my waterbag at around 9.15am. Fluid was clear so it was just a matter of allowing labour to proceed. The first contractions started pretty quickly and before long, they were coming pretty fast.

K was with me, although he spent the time alternating between napping on the armchair or watching TV. Hatiku terasa panas aje.. But he did hold my hand during the contractions and fed me air selusuh..

After about 3 hours, I caved and asked for the injection. The experience turned fuzzy after that. Contractions were slightly more bearable and I felt like I was almost falling asleep between them. My progress was slow, even slower than my first time. I was getting exhausted and frustrated that I hadn’t dilated much and baby was not making his way down fast enough.

After a few more hours, the nurse examined me again and said she had to drain my urine. Apparently, my somewhat full bladder could be impeding baby’s progress and since I was all doped up, they can’t let me go use the toilet. And so they stuck a catheter in (I think) and somehow got everything out. Not a pleasant experience. I asked for the gas after that cos it felt like the injection was starting to wear off.

They started setting up all the gear (apron and boots by the sink, surgical supplies table to my left) and the kind nurse tried to calm me down and wiped my sweaty face. Where was K during all this? Conked out in the armchair, possibly even snoring a little. The nurse had to drain my urine again and right after she finished, I felt the urge to poo. Of course, I communicated this to her in a combination of words, wailing and crying. K woke up by then and jumped out of the chair. The nurse did a quick check and Doc S came in and told me to start pushing when the urge came while she got her gear on.

So I pushed. Bear in mind, this was after 10 hours so I was very lembik and my effort was probably pretty lame. They got very urgent suddenly and kept telling me to push and keep pushing. Suddenly, K told me “Mummy, you have to push kuat-kuat kalau tak adik kena vacuum nanti.” I gave it my all, complete with a sort of wailing cry. I think they had to sort of help me along by making the opening bigger (combination of snip snip and hand manipulation, ouch!).

When our son popped out and Doc S held him up, I knew why they were urgently telling me to push hard and were ready to use the vacuum so early. He had poo-ed in there and it was stuck to his bottom – a long trail of it. I’m just thankful everything turned out okay.

I was completely out of it after that. Didn’t have the energy to keep my eyes open while they cleaned and stitched me up and transferred me out. I remember reading in my pregnancy book that subsequent deliveries are generally shorter. I mentioned this to my mum the day before, probably in an attempt to delude myself. My mum’s words? “Tak tentu, tengok nasib kau macam mana..” In the end, mulut mak kita memang masin…

So after a 10-hour labour and being threatened with a vacuum, baby Aidan was delivered at 7.06pm on 24th May 2007 weighing in at 3.37kg. Huge if compared to Alya who was just 2.14kg at birth. He’s healthy, very crafty and curious.. Favourite thing to do is to lift his head and look around while I'm trying to burp him..

Twiddling my thumbs

2007-05-15T22:30:00.000+08:00

I am playing the waiting game…

At my last appointment on Saturday, Doc S revealed that I had dilated 2cm but it’s not really an indication of how early Adik will arrive.. Could be tomorrow, could be next week.. Of course, I didn’t let that stop me from blagging a seafood dinner courtesy of my dad that night hehehe.. Fish, crabs, prawns, the whole works..

I went to work yesterday, filled out the leave forms and took the rest of the week off to wait it out.. Better to be bored at home than go through the uncertainty of who’s gonna send me to the hospital and if we’ll get there soon enough if labour starts.. I really don’t want to inconvenience anyone, especially as my immediate superiors have been pretty nice about everything..

The same cannot be said about the higher-up who has been quite clueless and inconsiderate.. I casually mentioned to his secretary about my early leave.. I think she passed on the message and now he’s scrambling as there was a management meeting this morning and I got a missed call from an office number on my personal (repeat, personal!!) line.. I know it’s not from the people in my department or my friends as they have promised to text first and will only call if I gave ‘em the greenlight.. If it was him, serves him right as he has ‘mengeram’ that pet project of his all this time and only moves his ass when he has a status report due… Which means we are usually given 2 days to make ourselves available for a meeting, brainstorm and come up with minutes and action plans for him to take into the meeting and mengeram further..

*tarik nafas*

Enough bitching about work…

Back to the waiting game.. Let’s see if this lil kiddo decides to make a grand entrance on Thursday or has to be coaxed out sometime next week..

Update then..!

Countdown : 10 days

2007-05-07T05:49:00.000+08:00

*deep breaths* 10 more days.

In some ways, it kinda feels like my first time. I know I already have a 14-month old daughter but that was different. She was induced a month early, I had none of this “waiting around for labour pains with a packed hospital bag ready”. Adik has been head-down for several weeks now, everything is well.. At my last appointment, Doc S cheerfully bade us goodbye with “Next week internal exam ok, kalau tak sempat I’ll see you in the delivery room”.. It really hit me that I could literally go ‘pop pop’ any day now.. As if my ginormous size and limited mobility were not obvious enough.. Hubby is nice to me, although he does tease me occasionally by enquiring if I need him to call a tow truck to help me up.. Kureng kureng..

I’m agonizing over whether to take leave early or work right up to delivery.. Several ladies at the office had dramatic incidences where their water bags burst and amnio fluid gushed out.. Cam dalam movies.. Dah la both my managers are men and one of em is a bujang terlajak (I’m not sure how useful they’d be in such an emergency), I work in the Golden Triangle and my hospital is all the way in Subang.. As it is, I have 3 meetings scheduled next week for the various special projects I somehow got involved with and my monthly report due.. No worries about the report, although I am just going to sit in those meetings and tell them repeatedly “I am going on leave any day now. Please do not give me any tasks that would inevitably be left hanging and then bitch about it in my absence.” Failure to note and take evasive action would just earn you a big thumbs up and a “Padan muka” when your project stalls..

Adik did not give me any serious problems, although this lil one is definitely bigger than Alya.. She’s getting more clingy probably becos she can sense the impending arrival.. She can’t walk on her own yet but she loves walking around holding on to your index finger.. Quite the bossy missy, she bullies her atuks mercilessly by getting them to carry her or teman her jalan-jalan.. She still has hardly no interest in food and is painfully kerempeng but she’s super-active and happy.. Kiddie food that is, her eyes light up and she’ll go “Ma! Nak nak nak” when we’re having something else that looks interesting.. She loves books, can spend a lot of time flipping thru a book on her lap and has started understanding some simple instructions.. Alhamdulillah..

My mother is being her usual panicky self, worrying where to place Adik downstairs.. Especially since Alya is darned curious and very very geram tengok baby.. Tak boleh duduk diam at all so we can’t exactly put the baby on a mattress in the living room.. I foresee my mother cracking the whip when it comes to my pantang this time around.. I barely had 6 months after Alya’s birth before I conceived again so maybe she has a point.. She’s been bandying about the terms “peranakan jatuh”, “perut gelebeh” and etc a lot these days.. I am so dreading those 44 days.. Wish me luck and pray I have a relatively easy delivery..

30 weeks

2007-03-11T22:19:00.000+08:00

I’m about 30 weeks along, 2 months away from pushing out another human being from my flabulous body. I still cannot believe we will be blessed with 2 kids before our 2nd anniversary, how did we get here?

Alya’s already becoming quite a handful, preferring to forego eating for playing and exploring. She has fearlessly crawled all the way up the staircase at my parents’ house (I blame my dad who has been covertly training his cucu), she’s doing that thing where she sorta talks but can’t actually vocalize properly yet, she can sort of snap her fingers and she gets all excited at the sight of any animal (cats, dogs, birds, even a grasshopper). Oh, and she will gelek to absolutely any piece of music – even if it’s just the ice-cream man’s tinkly recording. Jangan jadi minah dangdut sudah…

They say every pregnancy is different. Emotionally, I feel like there’s a lot less anticipation this time around. We’re still excited but there’s a certain ‘been-there-done-that’ quality that’s unavoidable. We had already picked out Alya’s full name by the 5th or 6th month; our baby is simply ‘Adik’ up til now. Sure, we have an idea on the name germinating but it hasn’t exactly been trotted out for use yet. Maybe it’s because the 2nd time round, everything’s all set. The supplies just need to be dug out of storage and spruced up (I didn’t even manage to put some stuff away), you’ve got the check-up routine down pat (monthly, fortnightly then weekly weigh-ins and test) and the daily cocktail of vitamins and supplements. No more shopping for baby stuff (except for some new clothes, as a lot of kakak’s stuff is pink), reading pregnancy books and waking K up in the dead of night when Adik is somersaulting..

Physically, it’s as different as night and day. I was still kinda active during Alya’s time, regularly speed walking to BB Plaza during my lunch hour. Now, I feel like such a tired, lumbering dinosaur. I’m doing the pregnant waddle and lunch is usually just nasi campur from the stalls behind my office, no more going here and there. Heartburn is a frequent complaint, night or day. I thought I had reached a pinnacle when I didn’t manage to stay up long enough to watch the first song from Grease last Wednesday. You know, “..tell me more, tell me more, was it love at first sight..”. I was dead wrong. Last night after Alya drifted off early, her mummy didn’t even make it past the end credits of the 8 o’clock news…

The 1st birthday party

2007-02-27T23:25:00.000+08:00

I am beat. We spent the long Chinese New Year break pretty much preparing for and recovering from Alya’s birthday bash at our place in Seremban.

Friday, Feb 16th : Got back to mum’s place late due to traffic chaos and rain. K went out to do the food shopping for the party as I still had to pack our stuff and take a shower before leaving for Seremban. We had already ordered the cake the previous weekend. Initially I was dreaming of a cake in the shape of the number ‘1’, kinda like the cake at my 1st birthday. However, considering Alya’s mummy is a chocolate fiend and Secret Recipe cannot fashion their Moist Chocolate Cake thusly, we decided to go for a double recipe (4 kgs!!) square cake.

Saturday, Feb 17th : Alya spent most of the day at Atuk’s house nearby, leaving us free to fix up the house. As you can expect, we don’t exactly have the resources to host a party for about 40 people (and that’s just close family & 2 friends) so we ended up borrowing quite a few things – tables, dining ware. The evening was spent cooking, assembling the beef and chicken lasagnas and making chicken stock for the chicken rice.

D-Day, Feb 18th : Woke up early to finish off the main courses and get started on the salad & chicken rice garnishings. My family arrived early (thankfully) so my mum got to work setting up the buffet table while my siblings went to get the cake and ice. She was so worried our food ‘tak menepati citarasa orang tua2’ (specifically my dad and grandma) that she brought along some nasi putih and lauk kampung.

Our lil girl didn’t look so little decked out in her party dress, hairclips and a necklace courtesy of Busu. Glam habis, mummy dia selekeh je pakai tshirt Abah and pregnant jeans. As my dad put it “Pelakon tambahan aje..” I just sorta blended into the background and didn’t want any pictures taken due to the fact I am almost 7 months pregnant and as big as a house.. I do not need a visual reminder of this period, the physical one is more than enough..

Alya tarik muka sikit while everyone was singing Happy Birthday to her – kinda like ‘Why are there so many ppl and what are they doing at my house?!”. But when we started clapping, she got all excited and clapped along. We got a kick out of that..

Alya with her 2 atuks

The loot? 2 of those plastic toddler cars courtesy of Atuk & Ummi and Tok Uda’s family, a stuffed giraffe that looks oddly pregnant (with bloated belly and all), a yellow bunny from Helic & Chase that was housed in the most adorable box (which is really meant for me, yes?), an educational toy, 2 new outfits, a photo album which Auntie Sara will hopefully fill with pictures (hint hint!) and some angpows. Thank you to all those who came and celebrated the first of our daughter’s many milestones in life.

Mine, all mine..!

Mmmm, yummy giraffe..

Helic & The Duchess

2007-01-09T07:36:00.000+08:00

I’ve known these 2 individuals for a big chunk of my life, during the whole ‘uni student trying to grow into a functioning, sensible member of society’ phase. Helic and the Duchess were already fast friends and I remember sitting behind them when we were introduced during our 2nd semester. I guess we kinda drifted together after working on assignments and projects. I knew the Duchess as ‘the girl who cycled to class even though her dad can afford to give her a car’ and Helic was always the odd guy out. He didn’t seem to be in any of the boys’ cliques even though he was on good terms with all of em..

I lived with the Duchess for about 2 ½ years in an apartment off-campus, where I learnt she practically lived on Milo, loves reading fanfics well into the night and is a gadget-freak. I introduced her to the Sims (which she still curses me for to this day) and she, in turn, puts up with my many moods.

Helic drove around in his dad’s beat-up old Galant which had a few month’s worth of junk accumulated in the back seat. We’d simply tutup mata and push aside the empty food containers and KFC boxes when he gave us a ride. That is, until we discovered an ant convoy merrily making its way across the backseat. Two yapping, indignant friends got him to keep the back of that car tidy in no time. We also tried our best to curb him of his more ‘eccentric’ obsessions and stalker tendencies, a fruitless effort at times.

After almost 8 years, they turned out to be my bestest (pardon the term) friends ever. So I couldn’t be happier when I got to see my 2 best friends get married last weekend – to each other after over a year of dating… They looked radiant (Helic seemed relieved, maybe cos sekali lafaz je hehehe), and I wish them all the happiness they rightfully deserve.. I love you guys!!

Week 14 : Raya Aftermath

2006-11-21T07:47:00.000+08:00

I know this is very much overdue but how was your Raya? We had a fun (albeit tiring) time, shuttling between Seremban, Subang, Melaka and Kelantan in those first 7 days. Alya raya sakan, with 3 pairs of baju kurung and adoring fans everywhere she went. She changed a lot over Raya I think, maybe cos she loves going jalan-jalan and this Raya was all about travelling. She seems friendlier, murah senyuman (before, jual mahal giler), more hyper and definitely more manja than ever. After mastering the art of crawling a few weeks ago, she has now graduated to climbing up almost everything (sofas, coffee tables, people).

We’ve discovered her extreme curiosity of people talking on the phone. If she spies you chatting away on the phone, even if you’re way across the room, she’ll crawl over super-quick, proceed to panjat you in an attempt to grab the phone, squealing away the whole time. The kiasu mummy in me likes to think that she wants to sharpen her communication skills but in all probability, I got me a kaypohchi daughter who just likes to know what people are doing.. Really lah, this kenit is very sebok-sebok. She intently watches people do work, tak kisah la tukang sapu sampah kat R&R or just her mummy washing dishes in the kitchen. She will even crane her neck and peer around whoever’s in the way just so she can get a better look.

I had my monthly checkup last Saturday, and of course the monthly anxiety. Moms will know what I’m talking about – that flood of questions running thru your mind just before you step on the scales at the doctor’s office. “How much have I gained? Will I get scolded? Why oh why did I have that second helping at dinner last night?” This is usually followed by pleading with the scale’s needle or digital display. “Please stop increasing, please stop increasing..!”

I heaved a sigh of relief – a half kilo reduction from my last appointment. And this was after Raya season too, what with all the rendang, lemang and who-remembers-what-else I stuffed my face with.. Guess all that vomiting was a lot more serious than I thought.. Have to really watch out now – especially since I got ‘hit with a laser’ last Saturday.

Prepare the lasers…

Doc S was doing the ultrasound, commenting that baby was growing fine, that the weight loss was mummy’s, and I should be able to feel baby moving by next month.

Target sighted and acquired…

While moving the paddle around my tummy below my belly button, she said our baby was just around there.

Fire!

“Yang ni bukan baby ye, ni lemak..” Doc S said with a smile while prodding the admittedly flabulous area above my belly button.

It’s a hit! Woman down..!

What else could I do besides smile meekly and say “Ya, tau…”

Week 10 : Sobfest

2006-10-20T12:59:00.000+08:00

I have been trying to juggle all-day sickness and my puasa. It’s tiresome when the things you eat at sahur come back up just as quickly as they went down, leaving you with an empty tummy and gas build-up. I think my tummy is showing a lot earlier, since it’s Round 2 and I didn’t really manage to lose the flab from Round 1. Looks like the kangaroo pants will have to come out after Raya.

I was driving from work to mum’s house last Friday and the radio station was playing some Raya songs.. I started singing along to Saloma’s ditty (you know, the one with “Mintak mak kuih sepotong, saya mau makan kerna perut kosong..” ) Two lines in and I suddenly burst into tears.. There I was, sobbing at the wheel while driving on the highway.. I think it’s equal parts nostalgia and good old-fashioned pregnancy hormones..

I felt tears pricking my eye (again) when I finally caught Petronas’ annual Raya ad.. They’re usually heartwarming or sentimental or funny.. At a time when I could burst into tears at the drop of a hat, they come up with the saddest Raya ad ever about filiality and giving back to your parents.. Just thinking back on it makes me choke up already.. *sniff sniff* I foresee a lot of damp tissues in my near future..

We are taking a long time off this Raya, visiting relatives in Negeri Sembilan, Melaka and Kelantan.. A 6-hour drive with a hyper-wriggly baby strapped into the car seat and a nauseous pregnant lady.. This should be interesting.. So, Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri and Maaf Zahir Batin to everyone.. Drive safe y’all..

Early Ramadan Gift

2006-09-26T20:47:00.000+08:00

We received an early Ramadan gift a little over a week ago. I had sorta expected it (woman’s instinct I guess) but it still came as a major shock. What was the gift? A tiny, magical little ‘bean’ which will rapidly grow into Alya 2.0.

Yes kiddies, Alya’s mummy is preggers (again!). You know how they rate the effectiveness of birth control methods in percentages (e.g. IUD is 99% effective)? It seems we are the lucky 1%. It’s very much unexpected but definitely not unwanted.

I was already tracking my monthly cycle when I noticed that it’s a few days late. No worries, there was one month where I was 6 days late. Just a matter of waiting it out. Then the puzzle pieces fell into place. Alya was getting clingier and more manja by the day, I was feeling tired and there was that lil tingle deep inside my heart. I waited till 7 days before locking myself in the bathroom with a test that night. It said to allow 60 seconds for the test to fully develop but the result came in after just half the time. Double lines. I’m pregnant.

I showed it to K who whooped and started laughing. That is, until I pointed out the obvious. Alya’s only 7 months old and that would mean 2 babies before our 2nd anniversary. After that, we kinda stared into space until the nervous giggles took over, and then we’d stare into space some more. We made a pact not to tell anyone until we see my gynae, so that we have some answers to the anticipated questions.

How did it happen? I was using the IUD, which is supposed to make your uterine lining inhospitable to sperm and egg. The places near to the device would be more inhospitable, obviously, kinda like 99% of the uterus. Well, our lil bean managed to pick the perfect spot and clung on for dear life, literally, right at the top of the T-junction. Which was why Dr. Siti called us “the lucky 1%”.

Reactions to the news were varied. Some were surprised, stunned and congratulatory. My boss tersengih and asked “How ah? Did you calculate wrongly?” We just told the important people for now, feel kinda segan to handle the requisite “Bukan ke kau baru beranak?” question.

We like to think of our lil bean as a survivor, a fighter. Even with birth control in place, he/she was determined to slip past and hang on. Due in May 2007 which means big sis Alya will be just 15 months old. It’ll be a challenge with 2 babies so close together but I know we can do it. Wish us luck.

Just put it away please

2006-09-23T15:51:00.000+08:00

Ok, so I'm guilty of wanting a last hurrah before Ramadan too.. Yes, I know.. Food would still be around and I can have it for buka.. But not without some degree of mob mentality or having to place your order early so the kitchen will cook it in time for buka..

I toddled along to TGI Fridays this afternoon, as I'd been having visions of that scrumptious mud pie dancing in my head for a week.. While waiting for our food, this lady and her daughter sat at the next table.. She looked pretty good, nice salon-highlighted hair, crisp shirt, jewelry etc..

So our food came and I was tucking into the appetizer when I inadvertantly caught sight of something that made me put my fork down.. The well-turned out lady had taken her shoes off and curled her legs under her.. So much so that she was almost sitting bersila and now the sole of her left feet is pointing at me..

I was so itching to say "Lady, I know you feel all comfy and berangin.. Hell, I do it too when I'm alone in the kitchen.. But that's the thing, you're not alone in your kitchen.. You're in a restaurant where complete strangers come to eat food.. The last thing we want to see is if you've been applying that cracked heel cream religiously (you should!) or those funky white spots on your toes.."

Of course, being me I settled on giving her (and her foot) dirty looks until she got the hint and put that nasty thing away..

Snap!

2006-09-06T21:51:00.000+08:00

It was my usual routine, arrive home and prepped Alya for the evening (bowl of cereal, milk, fresh diaper and the cute stripey onesie her abah bought). I left her with K while I grabbed my towel to take a shower. Put away a few things lying around on my way to the bathroom. Then for the life of me, I could not remember where my towel went. I retraced my steps. It was nowhere to be found.

"Sayang, did you see my towel anywhere? Dah hilang la.. tadi ada"...

K glanced at me and replied "Yang kat pinggang you tu apa?"..

It was my towel. I walked around looking for something that was under my belly (so to speak) all along..

I think something must have snapped during Alya's delivery..

The New Arrival

2006-08-31T14:10:00.000+08:00

I’ve been away from this for about a year. Life took over – wedding, marriage, a surprisingly quick pregnancy, a move to another town. I missed this. I missed crafting my stories about the little things and not-so-little things. Can you indulge me? I have been away for ages you know…

As you may remember, we had a June wedding which was quickly followed by the July pregnancy test. After all my blustering about waiting before having kids and wanting to get to know each other, it was confirmed. I was preggers or as ppl fondly referred to as ‘bunting pelamin’. I hated that term – bunting sounded so… animalistic. K was overjoyed, I was somewhat ambivalent. Don’t get me wrong, I love my daughter with all my life but at that point in time, I’m honest enough to admit that I wasn’t exactly sold on the idea of motherhood. But it’s funny how I started to change as fast as my body did.. Especially after that first tiny flutter which was like a knock on the head.. As my baby grew, so did my attachment to her..

Right around Chinese New Year during a routine scheduled appointment, my doctor dropped the bomb. She was detaining me due to high blood pressure, severely swollen feet and protein in my urine sample. The trifecta which indicated a risk of pre-eclampsia. This could fatally affect our baby if not checked so I was to spend a few days in hospital while they monitored me. I was finally released with medication and orders to put my feet up and relax.

After another week of medical leave, I toddled along for another appointment. Bad news – even with medication, my blood pressure was still stubbornly high. Our only option was to get my baby out before something serious happens. They scheduled me for surgery the next morning as I was 4 weeks away from my due date and it was unlikely I would be able to deliver normally. I was told the cervix would not be ready so early during first pregnancies. I remember crying and freaking out that my baby was too small, she’s not ready to face the world yet. They kept close watch on me that night and had me fasting and signing forms. K was not allowed to stay (2-bedded room and all that) so I spent the night alone thinking about the next day, worrying if my baby was gonna be okay.

The doctor popped in bright and early the next morning for an exam. To everyone’s surprise, I had already dilated 2cm. So it was decided that a normal delivery would be attempted first before anybody comes near me with a scalpel. Things moved fast, I remember being in the lift going up to the delivery room with K holding my hand and my mum behind me. I remember my mum hugging me and crying in front of the nurses’ station, telling me to be strong and that every woman goes through this. I remember the contractions starting just 5 minutes after they hooked me up to the IV at 10am.

I was in labour for almost 8 hours. I had vowed to tough it out as much as possible, refusing painkillers every time the nurses reminded me they were available. My resolve lasted 5 hours before I caved and took the injection. My pain threshold is extremely low so even with the drug, I was still crying and whimpering. I was so close to asking for an epidural when the lovely, patient nurse announced that I was almost there. Everyone moved in a blur after that, dashing around preparing for the new arrival.

The midwife at my antenatal class had already told us that the doctor would be wearing protective gear but it was still a surprise when my doctor walked in wearing a plastic apron and yellow PCK boots. Macam nak pegi bercucuk tanam…

The delivery was thankfully short, probably cos of my baby’s small size. K was at my side the entire time, except for when the doc cheerfully asked “Daddy, would you like to see your baby’s head?” K popped behind the doc, looked a bit green for a few seconds before blurting out “Banyaknya rambut dia..” He even cut the umbilical cord, which he proudly tells people to this day. That and the fact that he ‘sambut’ our baby wearing bermudas and his Arsenal jersey..

I don’t remember if I cried when I cuddled our daughter in the delivery room. I do remember feeling relieved and amazed that she was finally here and that I actually gave birth to this tiny lil girl. I also remember my father somehow sneaking past the nurses to poke his head at the door of the delivery room, wave and say hello while I was waiting to be moved to my room. That was before the nurses came along and told him the delivery room was for husbands only. Not even my mum made it in..

After all that, our daughter is catching up. She’s not a roly-poly baby, rather tall and lean if you ask me.. But she’s healthy, happy and already has a distinct personality.. So I am pleased to acquaint you with Wan Alya Nisrin.. She’s 6 months old now, loves to lap-surf and counts Octy the Octopus, Mr. Bug and her toes as her bestest friends…

By the way, that is unmanageable hair.. No matter how carefully we brush in into place, it just seems to have a life of its own..