1 month on

I'm tired. My eyes feel sore and itchy. I'm not losing as much weight as I'd like (damn my insatiable appetite!). I look like I'm about 4 months' pregnant but I'm not carrying a baby, just a jiggly belly . I start work in 3 weeks and am terrified of trying on my clothes.

*end rant*

Dan gained 1.2kg after the first month. He looks tegap and his hair is growing out all spiky. My sister likes to fashion a 'faux mohawk' on him after his baths while his hair's all wet. I'm thankful I've got a lot of help (mum & sis while she's on semester break which is ending this week.. boo hoo, takde 'bibik' lagi..) to deal with both kids and my in-laws usually 'borrows' Alya for the weekend. Dan has started smiling and cooing occasionally. He loves to be cuddled and manja-ed, more than Alya used to. In fact, he demands it. Mum dah bising "Jangan biasakan budak tu.." etc etc but then I see her do it anyway.. The kiddies are on the same schedule, which is very hectic.. If one needs a diaper change, the other one will probably need one too.. Most of the time I find myself feeding both at the same time, a bottle in each hand..

Alya loves her baby brother, smooching and calling his name all the live long day. She walks around the house, clutching Benny (the yellow bunny) and saying "Dan Dan... Dan Dan Dan" in a singsong voice. She'll check on him occasionally by peering into his basket and calling his name. Although it didn't stop her from lobbing a cushion into the basket or experimentally pinching him. The doc at my panel clinic keeps telling me she's horribly underweight, clocking in at under 9kg. But she's active and happy and possibly just destined to be small, as unbelievable as it seems if you look at her parents.. Hehehe

The little lady with an up-do

With Benny the yellow bunny

One after the other

So.. it's now day 18..

Aidan is a relentless milk-drinking machine who's got day and night all mixed up. I have to try every known trick to wake him up for feedings and to get him to sleep at night. Needless to say, none of them work. I am only able to grab an hour or so of sleep at night and am usually crashed out on the sofa, dead to the world by 10am. My warden (aka my mum) is not too pleased that I tido siang ("Camne nak kuruskan badan?!") but really, does she expect me to function on just 2 hours of sleep every night? I have to be at the top of my game to dodge the streams of pee and complete nappy changes in the shortest time possible. Current hit count : 4.

Alya finally has started walking, after Aidan arrived. She's still a bit unsteady and it's hilarious watching her walk with one arm out for balance while the other is clutching her yellow bunny. She's been quite moody generally and sometimes mad at me as I'm unable to dukung her. She'll throw a tantrum complete with leg-stomping and arched back. I think it's more jealousy than anything as she wants everything that belongs to Aidan. She'll squeal with delight when she sees her lil brother, kisses him then turns around and climbs into his empty baby basket.

K contracted dengue fever about 4 days after I was discharged from the hospital. We theorize he picked it up at his workplace. He'd just started his new job and had already taken 2 days' unpaid leave for Aidan's delivery. He spent 6 days in the hospital and we even ended up celebrating our 2nd anniversary there, him hooked up to the umpteenth bag of IV and me wearing my bengkung underneath my pants. All I can say is thank God for employee medical benefits..

To top it off, our maid has done a runner yesterday. We gave her a day off on Saturday to go to her cousin's and told her to be at the meeting place at 4pm Sunday. By 6pm, batang idung pun tak nampak. Calls went unanswered and her cousin swears she was at home earlier. I smelled a conspiracy.. The maid had told me a few days before that her mother wants her to come home and work but as she puts it, "Saya tak mau balik, kakak.." It wasn't the first time I heard this, she had trotted out this line twice before. Everytime I asked her directly, what do you want to do? And everytime she says she wants to work here. All freaking lies!

We're all staying at my parents' house during my pantang and my brother is sleeping in the living room so that she can have a room and some privacy. K suspected she might pull something so I had checked the room after we sent her on Saturday. Her stuff was there so I left it at that. I took a closer look this morning and turned out she had taken all her personal items but left a stack of clothes behind. Possibly in an attempt to fool us, which it did.

I am so damn pissed. After treating her considerately and giving her so many chances (she's not exactly competent or hardworking, but always cries and promises to do better when we tegur her), she didn't even have the decency to just tell us "I don't want to work anymore". It's not like we were gonna stop her or beg her to stay and I had told her as much before this. We only asked her to decide and let us know so that we can make alternative arrangements if needed.. Memang ****** betul..

So now I somehow have to manage an active, moody toddler who recently discovered walking skills and a newborn. Maybe Aidan sleeping all day is not so bad after all..

It's a boy!

Well, the lil one finally had to be forced out.

After waiting for the due date to arrive (nothing), then waiting a week after that (still nothing), baby Aidan very reluctantly left the confines of his comfy home and into our arms on 24th May 2007.

Doc S had already told us to report to the Labour Ward bright & early on that day if he still hadn't made an appearance yet. So we woke up early, had a light breakfast, chucked our bags in our messy car and headed to the hospital. After getting settled in the delivery room, Doc S examined me and declared I was at 3cm. I sputtered a bit about how I could have only dilated 1 whole centimeter in the last few weeks. She started the IV with the drug to induce labour and broke my waterbag at around 9.15am. Fluid was clear so it was just a matter of allowing labour to proceed. The first contractions started pretty quickly and before long, they were coming pretty fast.

K was with me, although he spent the time alternating between napping on the armchair or watching TV. Hatiku terasa panas aje.. But he did hold my hand during the contractions and fed me air selusuh..

After about 3 hours, I caved and asked for the injection. The experience turned fuzzy after that. Contractions were slightly more bearable and I felt like I was almost falling asleep between them. My progress was slow, even slower than my first time. I was getting exhausted and frustrated that I hadn’t dilated much and baby was not making his way down fast enough.

After a few more hours, the nurse examined me again and said she had to drain my urine. Apparently, my somewhat full bladder could be impeding baby’s progress and since I was all doped up, they can’t let me go use the toilet. And so they stuck a catheter in (I think) and somehow got everything out. Not a pleasant experience. I asked for the gas after that cos it felt like the injection was starting to wear off.

They started setting up all the gear (apron and boots by the sink, surgical supplies table to my left) and the kind nurse tried to calm me down and wiped my sweaty face. Where was K during all this? Conked out in the armchair, possibly even snoring a little. The nurse had to drain my urine again and right after she finished, I felt the urge to poo. Of course, I communicated this to her in a combination of words, wailing and crying. K woke up by then and jumped out of the chair. The nurse did a quick check and Doc S came in and told me to start pushing when the urge came while she got her gear on.

So I pushed. Bear in mind, this was after 10 hours so I was very lembik and my effort was probably pretty lame. They got very urgent suddenly and kept telling me to push and keep pushing. Suddenly, K told me “Mummy, you have to push kuat-kuat kalau tak adik kena vacuum nanti.” I gave it my all, complete with a sort of wailing cry. I think they had to sort of help me along by making the opening bigger (combination of snip snip and hand manipulation, ouch!).

When our son popped out and Doc S held him up, I knew why they were urgently telling me to push hard and were ready to use the vacuum so early. He had poo-ed in there and it was stuck to his bottom – a long trail of it. I’m just thankful everything turned out okay.

I was completely out of it after that. Didn’t have the energy to keep my eyes open while they cleaned and stitched me up and transferred me out. I remember reading in my pregnancy book that subsequent deliveries are generally shorter. I mentioned this to my mum the day before, probably in an attempt to delude myself. My mum’s words? “Tak tentu, tengok nasib kau macam mana..” In the end, mulut mak kita memang masin…

So after a 10-hour labour and being threatened with a vacuum, baby Aidan was delivered at 7.06pm on 24th May 2007 weighing in at 3.37kg. Huge if compared to Alya who was just 2.14kg at birth. He’s healthy, very crafty and curious.. Favourite thing to do is to lift his head and look around while I'm trying to burp him..