2 under 2

A regular reader of my little space here asked if having 2 kids under 2 is a recipe for trouble.. I don’t have a ready answer, to be honest..

In our case, it was totally unplanned. By some miracle and rezeki, Aidan beat the high odds. Alya was 15 months when her brother came along and she alternated between resentment, fascination, love and indifference. I don’t blame her, suddenly there was this noisy little thing who had moving parts, was constantly being carried by mummy and fussed over by everyone else. What made it harder for her was the fact that I couldn’t carry her during my pantang and K spent a week in the hospital due to dengue. I’m sure she felt like we were pushing her away in favour of Aidan, as evidenced by the crying and stomping. It broke my heart when she held her arms out to me, teary-eyed and saying “Mama..”, asking to be carried around. She didn’t want anything else and cuddles or kisses just seemed to anger her more.

As soon as her brother was born, Alya got up the courage to start walking. She was still holding on to things and people’s hands before that. She learned to say her brother’s name, singing “Dan, Dan, Dan” while perfecting her new walking skills. She’ll smooch Aidan one second and smack him the next, which doesn’t seem to faze him. She does not like sharing and often grabs any toy we place next to Aidan.

2 months on, things have settled down somewhat. What we’ve learned so far is to not make it all about the new baby. Remember that the kakak is still a baby and sometimes just wants to be treated as such. It’s not a bad thing if they want to try the baby’s pacifier or cot sometimes. Alya usually forgets about it when we offer her another distraction e.g. a book or a stuffed toy. We make sure that if one of us is busy with Aidan, the other one spends time with kakak. Or, if I’m taking care of them alone I usually spread a thick comforter on the carpet, plop them down and play with both of them at the same time.

I’m not saying it’ll be smooth sailing. There were times when I’ve broken down because Aidan is crying for his milk and Alya is screaming for attention at the same time. Like how she managed to get halfway up the staircase by herself because I assumed she was in the living room, based on the tinkling of her anklet. The fatigue and aching back because I was still up at 2am trying to stop Aidan’s crying and Alya can’t sleep because of it. It’s very taxing for your energy and financial levels, but we kinda forget about it when we’re all flopped on the carpet with kakak babbling away and adik trying to keep up with his gurgles. That’s when we feel like a family.

Back to the grind

Work starts again next Monday. My pre-pregnancy clothes are snug and I haven't had time to shop for new ones. I barely even had time to get a haircut last week.. I just plopped into the chair, told the guy with the red streaks in his hair to cut it and make it simple. We still don't have a replacement maid so my mum has to take care of the kiddies while we're at work in the meantime. She's not happy about it but we don't really have a choice since she herself tak sampai hati if the kids are sent to a nursery.

I guess I can add another title to my name - daughter, wife, mother, referee.. (see pic below)

It was supposed to be a nice picture of the 2 kiddies side-by-side.. But at the exact moment I snapped it, Alya attempted to rest her leg on top of her brother (horror of horrors!).. Dan just simply blinked and gurgled away.. He's getting very friendly, striking up conversations full of gurgles with anyone who happens to be near him..

Since K got a new job in the city, we moved.. again.. This is our 3rd move in 2 years of marriage, the first was into our own place after getting married.. After Alya was born, we moved to N.9 as K was helping out with the family business.. I was still working in KL, which translated to extremely high commuting time and costs.. And with Aidan here, we're back to living in the Valley..

The running joke is that we celebrate milestones in our lives by moving house.. It is no laughing matter.. On the very last day of my pantang, we rolled up our sleeves and packed up all our stuff in 24 hours, which filled up 2 5-ton lorries.. It was insanely ridiculous and not something I want to repeat anytime soon.. The next time we move will be into our own house.. Thank God the company Dad works for has a transportation subsidiary and we got a discount rate for the lorries (they threw in the 2nd lorry free!).. At the moment, we're still staying with my parents as we haven't had time to sort and clean the new place, with K working long hours and me wrestling with 2 babies..

I want to clean the house. But I also want to go get some new clothes so that I can stop wearing ratty old t-shirts.. Feel so blergh most of the time, I just want to feel good for once and be a little bit like those "have-it-all mothers".. You know the sort, impeccably turned out with slender bodies etc.. I'm not aiming for perfection here, presentable would be good enough.. With 2 kids under age 2, I don't have time for anything higher.. :)